“Pushes me to be a better human”

“Revolutionary”

“Ground-breaking”

“What the world needs”

“A spiritual and emotional journey”

“A light in the darkness”

“This podcast can make me think, laugh, and cry”

“A breath of fresh air”

“The most uncomfortable and convicting and challenging self-help and social justice/equity tool I’ve ever come across”

How to Make Love with Laura Brewer

“In love with how to make love”

“A must listen”

“Transformational”

“A remarkable podcast”

“Gave me a new look on life”

“Just what we need”

“The work Laura does in this podcast is transformational”

“Thought provoking”

“Asks us to examine ourselves from a critical, racial lens”

How to Make Love Podcast

How To Make Love

with laura brewer

Welcome to a podcast designed to grow your love, justice, and courage muscles.

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Episodes

Recent Podcast Episodes

96: UNperforming

96: UNperforming

4/28/2022We all perform. We've all been socialized to perform. And: none of us are truly free in a performance. Today's episode will take you into the what, why, how of performance and assimilation, and leave you with reflection questions for your healing and...

96: UNperforming

93: How To Think

1/31/2022What's the thing that: a) humans do constantly, b) shapes our life in resounding ways, and c) we're never taught how to do? –– think. Our thoughts can be assets or liabilities in our life, and laura shares 5 tips in this episode to help all of us think a...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

92: 5 Essential Skills for Practicing Justice

11/30/2022Tune in for a special update about where the podcast is headed in 2023, and to hear laura's personal reflection around the question all future guests will explore with her: what (for them) is the most essential tool in their practice of love, justice, and...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

91: Consent As A Way of Being

10/31/2022Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode.EngageFollowThis is a brief sample description to help us format this page and determine what...

96: UNperforming

90: Scarcity

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95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

89: How To Make (Dis) Ease

9/30/2022Today we tackle ease, dis-ease, and urgency <em>and</em> we examine what helps us make both ease and dis-ease in our life and relationships. You might be surprised at some of the common things that can kick up urgency. Sneak peek: personal...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

88: The Shadow Side of Purpose

07/28/2022Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode.EngageFollowThis is a brief sample description to help us format this page and determine what...

96: UNperforming

87: Freedom From The Inside-Out

87: Freedom From The Inside-Out06/30/2022Some people value freedom. Some people see freedom as an idyllic end outcome. And some people see freedom as a practice and way of BEing. We explore the latter in this episode. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts:...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

86: How To Hold Your Bits Responsibly

86: How To Hold Your Bits Responsibly 5/05/2022 No part of who you are is bad. And also: some of your bits, without your even realizing it, are likely creating harm in our world. We embrace the paradox in this episode, and explore the why's, the how's, and the...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

85: How To Judge Other People

85: How To Judge Other People4/19/2022Since we all judge other people, let's be sure we understand the whats, whys, and hows of it. Especially the hows that connect us to oppressive ways of being in the world so that we can ultimately operate – and judge – with more...

96: UNperforming

84: How To Be Selfish

84: How To Be Selfish3/30/2022Most of us consider selfishness a bad thing...but what if that's an oppressive lie? Reflection Questions from the Episode: How do/have you used the word selfish against other people? How has the word selfish been used against you? How...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

83: Consensual Expectations

83: Consensual Expectations2/28/2022Holding high expectations, like all things, involves light and shadow. Those expectations can help, and they can harm. In this episode, you'll learn to tell the difference between harmful expectations, and helpful expectations --...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

82: How to Feel Like Sh*t

82: How to Feel Like Sh*t2/08/2022Being human is hard -- and it often feels bad. In this episode, we cover the importance of learning how to feel sh*tty -- well. And how/why learning to do so is important for our practice of justice. Thank you for listening! To share...

96: UNperforming

81: How To Be Alive

81: How To Be Alive1/18/2022Being alive for our lives is harder and more complex than we think. Join laura to explore the what's, why's, and how's of aliveness in this episode.  At the end of the episode, laura offers several questions for reflection. Here they are:...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

80: BEing Gentle

80: BEing Gentle1/11/2022Many of us think that progress, goals, growth, and expansion require rigor, urgency, stress, and/or hustle. I've found I accomplish a lot more when I practice growing and accomplishing while being gentle.  Thank you for listening! To share...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

79: Your Own Adversary

79: Your Own Adversary11/30/2021Today we're talking about what it takes to have our own back, and to learn to become our own best friend -- rather than our own best adversary. As a practice of love and justice. Listen in for juicy self reflection questions to help you...

96: UNperforming

78: Impact > Intensity

78: Impact > Intensity11/16/2021We've all heard of 'intent vs. impact' -- but how are 'intensity' and 'impact' related? And does our intensity produce the impact we mean to have? Welcome to a conversation about to what extent your desired impact matches your life...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

76: Listener Love Pick (ft. Yolonda Coles Jones & Will Jones)

76: "Do you love this person enough to be yourself & also change yourself?" (ft. Yolonda & Will Jones)10/19/2021Our first ever listener-picked-episode! Shout out to Patreon Breanne W. for winning the opportunity to select a listener-chosen episode from the...

96: UNperforming

75: Being Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted

75: Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted9/30/2021In today's episode, we will: Look at the inherent challenges and limitations with focusing on being not depleted; Understand why a focus on being well-resourced is more liberatory; Hear some real-talk: you are the only real...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

74: How To Courage

74: How To Courage9/15/2021All things courage! How to courage. What courage is. How and when to practice it. What to avoid. And one very specific opportunity and invitation to grow it. Welcome to a very different conversation about courage. Thank you for listening! To...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

73: How To Feel Overwhelmed

73: How To Feel Overwhelmed 8/26/2021We all feel overwhelm. Except: must of us don't feel overwhelm, we think overwhelm. Learn the difference in today's episode, alongside some tips and suggestions for how to feel overwhelm more effectively. Thank you for listening!...

96: UNperforming

72: Love On Your Terms

72: Love On Your Terms8/17/2021A reminder about the urgency of MAKING love in your life. And why it must be on your terms. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask a question or share an insight To help...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

71: Imposter Syndrome

71: Imposter Syndrome7/29/2021Join host laura brewer for a frank talk about imposter syndrome: what it is, how it's connected to oppression, and four different strategies you can use to heal it. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

70: Freedom To Play (ft. Tara Sumrall)

70: Freedom To Play (ft. Tara Sumrall)7/13/2021Welcome to a coaching conversation, where laura coaches Tara around gender expression and identity. What starts there becomes a brave conversation about the freedom to play, and permission to express. Coaching questions...

96: UNperforming

69: How To Take Up Space (Without Causing Harm)

69: How To Take Up Space (Without Causing Harm)6/30/2021Join host laura brewer for a discussion about what we mean by 'taking up space,' why that's historically harmful, and 5 concrete why's and how's on learning to take space as a practice of liberation and...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

68: Wholeness

68: Wholeness 6/17/2021 Join host laura brewer as she tries to define wholeness, and explores what wholeness means as a noun and a verb. Plus some tips on things that hurt and help our practice of wholeness. Saddle up! Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts:...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

67: Decolonizing Desire

67: Decolonizing Desire 5/31/2021Join host laura brewer as she talks about how and why answering the question "what do you want?" is an important part of learning to decolonize our desire. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click...

96: UNperforming

66: Life-Changing Lessons

66: Life-Changing Lessons 5/11/2021Join host laura brewer as she shares 5 provocative lessons that shaped and changed her life and identity. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask a question or share...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

65: Liberatory Consciousness (ft. Tanya Williams & Bari Katz)

65: Liberatory Consciousness (ft. Tanya Williams & Bari Katz)4/29/2021Join guests Tanya Williams and Bari Katz for a discussion about making love and justice with and through a liberatory consciousness. Steeped deep in the work of Dr. Barbara Love, Bari Katz and...

How To Die: Final Episode

How To Die: Final Episode

64: How To Die4/20/2021Join host, death doula, and coach laura brewer for a discussion about love, death, and justice to close out this miniseries on How To Die. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask...

How To Die: Final Episode

How To Die: Episode 5

How To Die: Episode 53/16/2021All things grief, loss, and love with guest Dr. B.J. Miller. In this beautiful dialogue, we cover: the many kinds of grief -- what they are, how they function why/how our brains avoid sadness the role and importance of feelings and...

How To Die: Final Episode

How To Die: Episode 4

How To Die: Episode 4 3/2/2021 Two episodes in one! Join guests Nora Menkin and Anna Swenson for a conversation about "death care," disposition options, natural organic reduction, and other important end-of-life considerations. Thank you for listening! To share your...

How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die: Episode 32/16/2021Join guest Dr. Daisy Sharrock for a very personal story about death, loss, and intimacy as she tells the story of her father's life, death, and legacy. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the...

How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die: Episode 2

How To Die: Episode 2 2/4/2021Join guest Iana Sundari Malcolm for a discussion about justice, racism, and death. Iana is Director of BIPOC Well-being for The Dinner Party, a birth and death Doula, a Yoga and Meditation teacher, and leads Wellness retreats worldwide...

How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die

59: How To Die1/20/2021Join host, death doula, and coach laura brewer for a discussion about love, death, and justice. Welcome to a very special mini series.  Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask a...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

58: Love & The Patriarchy

58: Love & The Patriarchy11/30/2020Join host laura brewer for an exploration of how our blueprints for how we love can get all twisted up in patriarchy and paternalism, without our even realizing it. In this episode you'll hear: A big announcement about a new...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

56: Self, Family, and Organizational Care During Election Week

56: Self, Family, and Organizational Care During Election Week10/27/2020Making love and justice by planning for care and communication during election week. In this episode, you’ll hear: Questions, reflection points, and suggestions if you are a team or organizational...

96: UNperforming

54: How To Be Awkward

54: How To Be Awkward9/29/2020Making love and justice by learning to be awkward, as a disruption of the status quo culture. In this episode, you’ll hear: How the status quo culture cuts us all off from our humanity; How being awkward can disrupt the status quo...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

52: How To Disarm

52: How To Disarm8/27/2020Making love by learning to disarm and deweaponize ourselves. In this episode, you’ll hear: How and why certain parts of who we are get armed, armored, and weaponized; Examples of arming and amoring; Tips and suggestions for practicing...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

50: How To Feel Lost

50: How To Feel Lost7/30/2020Making love with self compassion during difficult times. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why we all feel 'lost' and off track at times; 6-10 tips and suggestions for practicing self-compassion when you're doing through a tough time. Welcome...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

49: “Moving money is my medicine.” (ft. Edgar Villanueva)

49: "Moving money is my medicine." (ft. Edgar Villanueva)7/23/2020Join guests Edgar Villanueva – author of Decolonizing Wealth – for a discussion about making love by moving money, and about building a practice of decolonization. Edgar Villanueva is a...

96: UNperforming

48: How to Radicalize

48: How to Radicalize6/30/20Are you radical-izable? Says who? How do you know? We're discussing that today + a discussion about how to hold folks we love accountable for harm they create. Welcome to a conversation about justice by learning to radicalize ourselves....

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

46: Inside-Out

46: Inside-Out5/27/20A practice of justice must be external and internal, and change must be inside-out. That’s what we’re up to today. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why only an external reaction to and practice of (in)justice is incomplete; What practicing love and...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

44: Practicing Peace

42: Practicing Peace4/21/2020Making love by practicing peace. That's what we're up to today -- what does it mean to make peace, and how does that connect to love and justice? In this episode, you’ll hear: How practicing peace is relevant in our social justice work;...

96: UNperforming

42: How to Make Space

42: How to Make Space3/12/2020Making love by making space. That's what we're up to today -- what does it mean to make space, and how does that connect to love and justice? In this episode, you’ll hear: What making space means, what it involves, and how it connects to...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

40: Confusion > Certainty

40: Confusion > Certainty2/20/2019The cultural connotation we have of 'certainty' is a positive one, but certainty can be toxic and problematic to our spirits and practice of justice. In this episode, we: Explore how/why certainty can be problematic; How certainty...

SPECIAL EPISODE: How To Make Radical Love & Retention

SPECIAL EPISODE: How To Make Radical Love & Retention

SPECIAL EPISODE: How To Make Radical Love & Retention For New Teacher Center Symposium Attendees 2/11/2020 It's one thing to value retention, and another to make it. It's one thing to value love & justice, and another to make it. Since we could only go so deep...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

38: Justice and Liberation

38: Justice and Liberation1/22/2020'Justice' and 'Liberation' are often used synonymously. But in practice, they're actually quite unique -- and the differences matter. In this episode we'll explore: How justice and liberation are different; Why those differences...

96: UNperforming

36: How To Make Anger (ft. cameo from Lama Rod Owens)

36: How To Make Anger (ft. a cameo from Lama Rod Owens)12/17/2019Anger is a powerful tool of resistance and liberation. But we've been socialized by white supremacy culture to believe a lot of damaging, oppressive mythology about anger. In this episode we'll explore:...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

34: Revise Your Sentence

34: Revise Your Sentence 11/12/2019 We all have a sentence we've carried around with us most of our lives. It's both a sentence in our heads and a self-induced punishment. Individual and collective liberation requires that we find it, revise it, and exonerate...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

32: Imagination As Resistance

32: Imagination As Resistance 10/17/2019 Imagination is key to creating social change. But: our system of capitalism does not reward it, and for most of us, our imagination muscles have atrophied. In this episode, you’ll hear: How and why imagination is connected to...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

31: “Curiosity & judgement can’t occupy the same space.”

31: "Curiosity & judgement can't occupy the same space." 10/10/2019 Join guests Emilee and Rob McGowan for a discussion about loss, tragedy, and creating intimacy and partnership – especially when it's missing. Rob & Emilee are partners in life and in their...

96: UNperforming

30: How To Bear Witness

30: How To Bear Witness 9/19/2019 What does it mean to 'bear witness,' why is bearing witness important for the work of solidarity and justice, and how do you do it? Join host laura brewer for an exploration of all three questions. In this episode, we: Define what we...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

29: “Creativity is the antidote to destruction.”

29: “Creativity is the antidote to destruction.” 8/28/2019 Join guests Alixa Garcia and Naima Penniman of Climbing PoeTree for a discussion about making love by BEing love, justice, and liberation. Climbing PoeTree combines impassioned lyricism, political theater, and...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

26: How To Retreat

26: How To Retreat 8/16/2019 There's retreating to escape the work of justice, and retreating to better be in the work of justice. Join host laura brewer for discussion about how to tell the difference, how to make retreat for yourself, and resources to support you...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

25: “Organizing at the speed of love.”

25: "Organizing at the speed of love." 7/25/2019 Join guest Ai-jen Poo for a discussion of making love through organizing on behalf of change and dignity. Ai-jen is a TED speaker, a change maker, an activist, and a organizer on behalf of the sick, the elderly, and...

96: UNperforming

24: How To Be Wounded

24: How To Be Wounded 6/20/2019 The root of the word vulnerability is "vulnus," meaning "to be wounded." Join host laura brewer for discussion about what radical vulnerability entails, how to practice it, and why it's essential for making love and justice. In this...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

22: How To Feel

22: How To Feel 5/23/19 Feeling our emotions is essential to our human work, and our work in social change. But most of us are never taught how to do it. That’s what we’re up to today. In this episode, you’ll hear:What feelings really are, and how they're connected to...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

20: PowerLESS Love

20: PowerLESS Love 4/25/19 Making our love powerLESS rather than powerFULL. That’s what we’re up to today. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why it's important to strip control and power out of the way we love; What all of this has to do with love and justice. Nine...

96: UNperforming

18: Under the Influence of Urgency

18: Under the Influence of Urgency 3/26/2019 Making love through: slowing down. That’s what we’re up to today. In this episode, you’ll hear: What does operating under the influence of urgency mean? How do we benefit from urgency as a way of being, in our lives or...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

17: “Language matters desperately.” (ft. Rita Dove)

17: "Language matters desperately." (Ft. Rita Dove) 3/19/2019 Join guest Rita Dove for a discussion about making love through making language. Rita Dove is the former Poet Laureate of the United States, a Pulitzer Prize winning poet, and the poetry editor of the New...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

16: Courage & Fear

16: Courage & Fear 2/26/2019 Making love through: using fear as a compass to cultivate courage. That’s what we’re up to today. In this episode, you’ll hear:What are the ingredients for cultivating courage with intention?What is fear? Why the ways we tend to relate...

95: “I didn’t understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self.” (ft. Chrystal Toop)

14: How To Practice

14: How To Practice 1/31/2019 Making love through: practice. That's what we're up to today -- what does it mean to practice, especially when it comes to racial justice? We're breaking it down and serving it up on this high octane episode all about: how to practice. In...

94: “You can’t create without breaking something.” (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

13: “People are always trying to define who I am.” (ft. Miki Poy)

"People are always trying to define who I am." -- 013 (ft. Miki Poy) 1/15/2019 Join guest Miki Poy for the first episode of 2019, and the first ever episode featuring one of our regular listeners! And: it's a huge episode. Love. Identity. And belonging. Saddle up!  In...

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