121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

07/24/2026 Adulthood asks us to confront a difficult truth: life rarely unfolds the way we imagined. In this episode, laura explores the difference between acceptance and approval, why acknowledging reality is essential for wise action, and how staying in relationship...
120: How to Change Your mind

120: How to Change Your mind

04/13/2026 In this episode, laura explores why truly living our values—like inclusivity, growth, and liberation—requires more than good intentions. It demands the uncomfortable, ongoing practice of changing our minds. Drawing on neuroscience and real-life examples,...
119: How to Love Without Villains

119: How to Love Without Villains

03/23/2026 This episode is about the habit of making someone wrong—-and how quickly that instinct shapes the way we relate to each other. I’m asking what becomes possible if we loosen our grip on blame and instead choose something more curious, and more human. Engage...
121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

118: How to Stay Put

02/28/2026 What happens after you let go of forced hope? No breakthrough. No surge of inspiration. Just life—continuing. In this quiet, honest episode, we explore what it means to stay put when nothing feels especially promising. Not grit. Not toxic positivity. Just...
120: How to Change Your mind

117: How to Hope

01/16/2026 How do you hope when there’s no logical reason to? In this episode, we explore what hope really is—and what it isn’t. Rather than treating hope as optimism, belief, or confidence about the future, this conversation reframes hope as a present-moment...
119: How to Love Without Villains

116: How to Rehumanize

09/25/2025 What does it mean to stay human in a world that fuels disconnection, numbness, and productivity? This episode digs into everyday forms of dehumanization—and offers five messy, honest practices to help you rehumanize yourself and the spaces/relationships...
121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

115: Like the World is Already Free

08/31/2025 laura reflects on the paradox of fighting for liberation while remembering we are already free. Through Buddhist practice, personal story, and practical tools, she invites listeners to live from wholeness now—even in the midst of struggle.   Engage Ask...
120: How to Change Your mind

114: How to Despair

07/30/2025 In this deeply human episode of How to Make Love, laura invites us to practice despair—not as defeat, but as an act of love and honesty. Together, we explore how to face the unbearable truths of our world—genocide, displacement, climate crises, and quiet...
121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

112: How to Let Go

05/27/2025 Letting go isn’t graceful, it’s often gutting—and it might also be the only path to liberation. In this episode, laura explores what it truly means to release relationships, roles, and illusions that no longer serve us—personally, politically, and...
120: How to Change Your mind

111: How to Not Know

04/14/2025 What if certainty is (sometimes) a part of the problem? This episode unpacks how our need to know can prop up domination—and how embracing the skillfullness of not knowing can be a practice of love, liberation, and justice.   Engage Ask laura a...
119: How to Love Without Villains

110: How to Fight

03/26/2025 To fight or not to fight? And how? And against whom? Or for what? Join laura for a discussion about how to fight on behalf of love and justice differently. Plus a whole lot of reflection questions for your growth and development.   Engage Ask laura a...
119: How to Love Without Villains

109: How to Love the World When You Hate the World

02/19/2025 What do we do when we start to feel really embittered toward the world and the humans in it? How do we hold love and rage at the same time? How do we train in love when what we sometimes feel is hate?   Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become...
120: How to Change Your mind

107: the Revolution of Reinvention

11/20/2024 In this episode, we explore the art of personal reinvention—what it means to choose change on your own terms and imagine new possibilities for your life. Reinvention is more than self-discovery; it’s the training ground for transforming the world.  ...
121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

105: The Costs of Courage

10/21/2024 We rarely confront the true costs of courage—social, emotional, physical, personal, professional. This episode unpacks why, despite the steep price, courage is worth the choice for personal and collective liberation—helping you understand the cost and truly...
120: How to Change Your mind

104: Love-Ability

09/2/2024 Loveability is a mess. But love-ability? Now we’re talking. Tune in to hear why shifting from “loveability” to “love-ability” might change your life, and the world around us.   Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe...
121: Acceptance ≠ Approval

102: Celebrating 5 Years of Making Love

08/26/2024 Happy Birthday/Anniversary to How To Make Love! 🎈 We’re back after an extended sabbatical and ready to take on more making of the love, justice, courage, and other important things we value. Hear laura share what’s been up, and where we’re...
120: How to Change Your mind

101: The Feelings of Freedom

10/30/2023 There’s the idea of freedom and the somatics of freedom. Today’s episode tackles how and why we should learn to cultivate the sensations of freedom in our bodies. Welcome.   Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become a Patron of Our...
119: How to Love Without Villains

100: Welcome to My/Your Crisis

9/30/2023 Who’s ready for a mid-life crisis?! Me! You? Come on in for a lovingly honest and personal conversation about those feelings of falling apart –– midlife, or any other time.    Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become a Patron of Our...
99: UNcontrol

99: UNcontrol

8/31/2023 Ethic. Process. Aspiration. Practice. Come learn what else UNcontrol is and what it means and why we should engage it in the work of personal and collective freedom. Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become a Patron of Our Podcast Leave a review on...
119: How to Love Without Villains

97: How To Be A Good Loser

5/31/2023 How can losing be a practice of justice? How can putting down the drive to win fuel liberation? And what are things we might all be better off for working to lose on purpose? We tackle all of that and more in today’s episode.   Engage Ask laura a...
99: UNcontrol

96: UNperforming

4/28/2022 We all perform. We’ve all been socialized to perform. And: none of us are truly free in a performance. Today’s episode will take you into the what, why, how of performance and assimilation, and leave you with reflection questions for your healing...
99: UNcontrol

93: How To Think

1/31/2022 What’s the thing that: a) humans do constantly, b) shapes our life in resounding ways, and c) we’re never taught how to do? –– think. Our thoughts can be assets or liabilities in our life, and laura shares 5 tips in this episode to help all of us...
120: How to Change Your mind

92: 5 Essential Skills for Practicing Justice

11/30/2022 Tune in for a special update about where the podcast is headed in 2023, and to hear laura’s personal reflection around the question all future guests will explore with her: what (for them) is the most essential tool in their practice of love, justice,...
119: How to Love Without Villains

91: Consent As A Way of Being

10/31/2022 Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode. Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become a Patron of Our Podcast Leave a review on iTunes Follow...
99: UNcontrol

90: Scarcity

09/30/2022 Sometimes called ‘scarcity thinking,’ laura breaks down and reframes the notion of scarcity – what is is, where it comes from, and how to heal it. Tune in for concrete suggestions, reflection questions, and tools for healing scarcity all through a lens of...
120: How to Change Your mind

89: How To Make (Dis) Ease

9/30/2022 Today we tackle ease, dis-ease, and urgency <em>and</em> we examine what helps us make both ease and dis-ease in our life and relationships. You might be surprised at some of the common things that can kick up urgency. Sneak peek: personal...
119: How to Love Without Villains

88: The Shadow Side of Purpose

07/28/2022 Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode. Engage Ask laura a question with Speakpipe Become a Patron of Our Podcast Leave a review on iTunes Follow...
119: How to Love Without Villains

85: How To Judge Other People

85: How To Judge Other People 4/19/2022 Since we all judge other people, let’s be sure we understand the whats, whys, and hows of it. Especially the hows that connect us to oppressive ways of being in the world so that we can ultimately operate – and judge –...
99: UNcontrol

84: How To Be Selfish

84: How To Be Selfish 3/30/2022 Most of us consider selfishness a bad thing…but what if that’s an oppressive lie? Reflection Questions from the Episode: How do/have you used the word selfish against other people? How has the word selfish been used against...
120: How to Change Your mind

83: Consensual Expectations

83: Consensual Expectations 2/28/2022 Holding high expectations, like all things, involves light and shadow. Those expectations can help, and they can harm. In this episode, you’ll learn to tell the difference between harmful expectations, and helpful...
119: How to Love Without Villains

82: How to Feel Like Sh*t

82: How to Feel Like Sh*t 2/08/2022 Being human is hard — and it often feels bad. In this episode, we cover the importance of learning how to feel sh*tty — well. And how/why learning to do so is important for our practice of justice. Thank you for...
99: UNcontrol

81: How To Be Alive

81: How To Be Alive 1/18/2022 Being alive for our lives is harder and more complex than we think. Join laura to explore the what’s, why’s, and how’s of aliveness in this episode.  At the end of the episode, laura offers several questions for...
120: How to Change Your mind

80: BEing Gentle

80: BEing Gentle 1/11/2022 Many of us think that progress, goals, growth, and expansion require rigor, urgency, stress, and/or hustle. I’ve found I accomplish a lot more when I practice growing and accomplishing while being gentle.  Thank you for listening! To...
119: How to Love Without Villains

79: Your Own Adversary

79: Your Own Adversary 11/30/2021 Today we’re talking about what it takes to have our own back, and to learn to become our own best friend — rather than our own best adversary. As a practice of love and justice. Listen in for juicy self reflection...
99: UNcontrol

78: Impact > Intensity

78: Impact > Intensity 11/16/2021 We’ve all heard of ‘intent vs. impact’ — but how are ‘intensity’ and ‘impact’ related? And does our intensity produce the impact we mean to have? Welcome to a conversation about to...
99: UNcontrol

75: Being Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted

75: Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted 9/30/2021 In today’s episode, we will: Look at the inherent challenges and limitations with focusing on being not depleted; Understand why a focus on being well-resourced is more liberatory; Hear some real-talk: you are the...
120: How to Change Your mind

74: How To Courage

74: How To Courage 9/15/2021 All things courage! How to courage. What courage is. How and when to practice it. What to avoid. And one very specific opportunity and invitation to grow it. Welcome to a very different conversation about courage. Thank you for listening!...
119: How to Love Without Villains

73: How To Feel Overwhelmed

73: How To Feel Overwhelmed 8/26/2021 We all feel overwhelm. Except: must of us don’t feel overwhelm, we think overwhelm. Learn the difference in today’s episode, alongside some tips and suggestions for how to feel overwhelm more effectively. Thank you for...
99: UNcontrol

72: Love On Your Terms

72: Love On Your Terms 8/17/2021 A reminder about the urgency of MAKING love in your life. And why it must be on your terms. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask a question or share an insight To...
120: How to Change Your mind

71: Imposter Syndrome

71: Imposter Syndrome 7/29/2021 Join host laura brewer for a frank talk about imposter syndrome: what it is, how it’s connected to oppression, and four different strategies you can use to heal it. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment...
120: How to Change Your mind

68: Wholeness

68: Wholeness 6/17/2021 Join host laura brewer as she tries to define wholeness, and explores what wholeness means as a noun and a verb. Plus some tips on things that hurt and help our practice of wholeness. Saddle up! Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts:...
119: How to Love Without Villains

67: Decolonizing Desire

67: Decolonizing Desire 5/31/2021 Join host laura brewer as she talks about how and why answering the question “what do you want?” is an important part of learning to decolonize our desire. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment...
99: UNcontrol

66: Life-Changing Lessons

66: Life-Changing Lessons 5/11/2021 Join host laura brewer as she shares 5 provocative lessons that shaped and changed her life and identity. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click the SpeakPipe sidebar to ask a question or share...
How To Die: Final Episode

How To Die: Episode 5

How To Die: Episode 5 3/16/2021 All things grief, loss, and love with guest Dr. B.J. Miller. In this beautiful dialogue, we cover: the many kinds of grief — what they are, how they function why/how our brains avoid sadness the role and importance of feelings and...
How To Die: Final Episode

How To Die: Episode 4

How To Die: Episode 4 3/2/2021 Two episodes in one! Join guests Nora Menkin and Anna Swenson for a conversation about “death care,” disposition options, natural organic reduction, and other important end-of-life considerations. Thank you for listening! To...
How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die: Episode 3

How To Die: Episode 3 2/16/2021 Join guest Dr. Daisy Sharrock for a very personal story about death, loss, and intimacy as she tells the story of her father’s life, death, and legacy. Thank you for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a comment below Click...